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outside watcher

Fiction: As I Lie Bleeding

Posted on 2010.08.18 at 04:26
[originally posted here]


Title: As I Lie Bleeding
Warnings: Angst; imagery and presence of blood
Notes: Some things seem to come in cycles; and X is not about to explain it, only remember it.

It falls like teardropsCollapse )

oh hey ~

Hunter Townhouse, X's quarters

Posted on 2007.11.27 at 10:05
... Ow.

Another day, another session of training -- and another brisk round of being swatted about by training-drones. Sometimes X despaired of ever getting coordinated enough with a sabre that he wouldn't be embarrassed to actually use the thing in combat.

But I promised.

Shouldering the door to his quarters open a little wider, he trotted in and dropped the practice-sabre onto his desk, then turned towards the door and nudged it closed before peeling out of the light semi-armour he wore for training.

Pair of jeans and rumpled t-shirt later, he was feeling better, though seriously considering a long soak to get the aches out ...

Waking up to warmth -- and a good deal of hair that wasn't his own -- prompted X into a moment of still-sleepy confusion for a few moments.

Hadn't he gone to bed alone?

No, wait. Zero --

That's right; he'd had a visitor, and it now it was Zero who needed companionship and comfort to be able to sleep ...

Uncurling a bit, X peered at Zero and debated whether or not he should wake him.

outside watcher

Hunters House, X's Quarters

Posted on 2007.09.17 at 08:28
I don't see what I did that was so horrible.

Sleep, after being mended by Zero -- and the unexpected spat that followed -- turned out to be elusive. Which left X half-curled-up on his bed around a pillow, ignoring the twinging of his shoulder and worrying the issue to pieces.


Why is he making all these accusations? I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't just throw myself in there ... Nightmare needed that, and he's going to need it again.

I don't see anyone else volunteering.

... and, maybe it wasn't what I expected exactly. But maybe there was a reason, maybe I can warn him to be more careful.



Flopping onto his back, X flung his good arm over his face and sighed.


I don't see why he reacted that way. I don't know if I want him to help me get back together, if he's going to keep acting that way.

Either he's branding me for something he did, or it's something the X he knew did. Or didn't do. Or something.



A small, almost angry noise escaped as another notion drifted by.


'Sacrifice'. He doesn't want me to 'sacrifice' myself. Like he thinks I'm trying to be a martyr, or that I'm just throwing myself away ...

There's something I don't like at all about how he said that, and the words he used. And -- it was like he was deliberately trying to provoke me, even if he was upset.

... What do I do about this?


“… Nightmare? Are you in there?”
With no answer to his hesitant knocking at his fellow Hunter’s door, X began to wonder if Nightmare had actually left ...Collapse )


lost ...

Hunter's House, in transit

Posted on 2007.08.30 at 12:05
aaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa ~"

X did wake screaming this time -- crunched into the corner of the bed, wedged against the wall and shaking so violently he was certain he'd abraded his shoulder off altogether --

no ...

it was so real ...

why can't i get it together again? i need to --


Clamping a shaking hand to his mouth, he sat in stunned, frozen shock for some unknown span of time while his mind twisted and knotted on itself. He felt ready to give up on the spot, throw himself clear from the Townhouse roof onto something sharp and lethal -- and felt guilty that he could be so weak to even consider it.

Reaction. Shock.

That's all it is ...


One thing was certain; he couldn't bear the thought of trying to sleep again. Not with an empty room --

Not alone.

Long painful minutes of fighting the night-terror later, he was padding down the hallway -- still shivering -- to knock lightly at Zero's door.

armour // wish

Hunters House, X's Quarters

Posted on 2007.08.23 at 08:44
Not for the first time, X woke in terror, with a strangling scream lodged in his throat.

His hands tangled violently into the bedclothes, tearing fabric, as he reacted to something that wasn't there, to someone that wasn't there --


So real. It's so real.

I could just reach out and touch --

Why couldn't I be back there again, even if I only saw him for seconds before I died ...?


He could find himself if I could only get there and help him --



Drawing his knees up, X buried his face in his hands as the tears started in earnest.

outside watcher

OOC: songs!

Posted on 2007.05.18 at 09:37
The Tea Party, ~Heaven Coming Down~Collapse )
Moist, ~Leave It Alone~Collapse )
Martika, ~Toy Soldiers~Collapse )